she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
