So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
