..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize