do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
