We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
