That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize