I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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