scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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