I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
