Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
