there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do herpes really smell.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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