I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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