Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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