I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
