You can't special order awesome
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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