I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
