Banned from zoo.
Again?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize