ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
