i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
