I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
