I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
