Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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