did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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