I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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