Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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