I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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