belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
