seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
