maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
