I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
