I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
