I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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