hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
