I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he fucked my hip out of place.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
