She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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