do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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