Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
