she was so not down for the gang bang
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I FOUND THE LEGS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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