She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
