If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
