I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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