I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize