I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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