Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
