you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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