I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
