I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
