I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
