i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize