i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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