you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
