took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
