Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize