Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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