All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
