This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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